Are you frustrated with your appearance? Although your looks don’t define you, and your appearance certainly doesn’t create your worth in the world, it’s important to feel at peace with yourself.
Sometimes we spend so much time appreciating the beauty in others, we neglect ourselves. We get wrapped up in a certain standard of beauty we see on social media or in the pages of magazines and forget about our own unique Type of beauty.
Signs You Are Not Happy with the Way You Look
Take a moment to consider this: Could you be compromising your self-esteem and well-being by doing some (or all) of the following things?
- You buy clothes, then later decide they just don’t feel right – but you wear them anyway.
- You hate taking the time to shop, so you just buy what you need to get by.
- You think it takes a lot of money to look good, so you’d rather not even try.
- You determine what looks good on you by following the latest fashion trends, rather than knowing what you prefer.
- You choose new clothing by asking your friends, your husband, or others for their opinions.
- You feel lost when it comes to knowing what to wear.
- You avoid meeting new people because of your appearance.
- You want to look good, but you just don’t know where to start.
- Sometimes you think, “Who cares, anyway?” when it comes to shopping, dressing up, and taking care of yourself.
If any of these describe you, read on, because you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin and at ease in anything you wear. Let’s take a closer look at what it means to have a positive self-view.
Why is it Important to Feel Good About the Way You Look?
According to a survey by Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., positive self-views are the best predictor of long-term happiness. And positive self-views emerge from self-acceptance and self-worth, among other things.
Self-esteem is the confident belief that you have value as a human being. While many of us would quickly say, “Of course I value myself!” sometimes our day-to-day actions don’t actually match up with the actions of a person who truly has high self-esteem.
For example, think of someone who posts a photo of themselves on Facebook or Instagram and waits nervously for the comments to roll in. Only when a certain number of positive comments arrive does this person finally feel attractive and confident at that moment.
This is the sign of someone who needs outside validation of their self-worth, rather than feeling good about themselves from the inside out. A person with high self-esteem can share a photo on social media, then step away from their device and not give it too much more thought.
How a Positive Self-View Shapes Your Life
A positive self-view is so important, it can actually affect the direction of your life. When you’re feeling confident, it makes you feel freer to take risks you wouldn’t otherwise take and explore new ideas, relationships, places, and points of view.
On the flip side, a person with a negative self-view is more likely to get stuck in a rut and accept things that create a negative impact on their life. Your self-view can affect:
- Your relationships
- Your parenting ability
- Your performance at work
- Your personal appearance
- Your desire to travel
- Your interest in hobbies and activities
- Your development of new friendships
- Your financial stability
- Your outlook on life
When we feel negative about ourselves, we believe we are not worthy of great things. We stop believing we deserve to have the best spouse, the best friends, the best job, the best appearance, and the best chances of having a wonderful life.
Why Confidence is the Cornerstone of Leadership
Self-confidence is also the key to being a leader at work, at home, and in various roles in your life. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, how can others believe in you?
You probably know someone who seems to be a “born leader” and naturally takes leadership roles in many situations. Although their leadership ability may seem inborn, it’s much more likely that they have simply learned how to cultivate a sense of self-confidence in their daily lives.
A study of more than 600 people in leadership positions by Forbes found that self-confidence and leadership were correlated in six important ways:
- High-confidence people were more likely to become champions for successful projects
- They showed boldness and courage to make changes
- They displayed a high level of enthusiasm, which also energized other people
- They were willing to challenge existing modes of thinking
- Others rated them as being more inspiring than the average person
- They were better at representing groups of people
The authors of the Forbes study found that the primary difference between low-confidence people and high-confidence people is this: Low-confidence people resist standing out and rarely voice their point of view. High-confidence people are more visible in groups and can boldly speak their minds when necessary.
How about you? Do you tend to be a wallflower, or are you comfortable standing out from the crowd? If confidence is a struggle, let’s look at some techniques for improving the way you feel in your own skin.
7 Ways to Feel Better About the Way You Look
Walking through your world with confidence is a skill, not an inborn ability. Self-esteem is sometimes called a thought-habit by psychologists because it’s something you can practice daily and adjust your outlook on life.
Here are seven things you can do to boost your confidence and feel more comfortable with the way you look.
1- Throw away the media’s definition of beauty.
Women tend to be objectified in the media, and this can lead to problems with self-image and self-worth. This goes hand in hand with shame-based beauty, which is extremely damaging to a woman’s self-confidence.
It’s time to shake off the shame! We don’t need to think of ourselves as “less than” anything. The media would have us believe that beauty fades as women age, but that’s just an artificial idea. Beauty is ageless.
Remember, you’re not going to change society’s definition of beauty, but you can change your own point of view. Instead of accepting the media’s beauty standards, create your own definition.
Whose ageless beauty do you admire? Think of friends and loved ones. Did your grandmother have a beautiful smile? Does a coworker know how to rock a pantsuit? Is there an older woman in your neighborhood who seems to just glow with natural beauty from the inside out?
Set your sights on these real-life examples of beauty. Notice the things that make these women beautiful that have nothing to do with age or society’s rules.
2- Only buy if it you can say, “I love it!”
When it comes to buying clothes, avoid making impulse buys simply because you’re enjoying a day of shopping or because something is on-trend. Instead, focus on purchasing items that you truly love and feel comfortable wearing.
Develop your own sense of style that is personal, unique, and based on your Energy Type. Stay true to yourself, and evaluate each clothing purchase only by what you feel deep inside. Buy only when your inner self says, “I love this!”
3- Start to trust yourself.
It can be amazingly difficult to trust ourselves. When we encounter uncertainty in our daily lives, it’s a habit for many of us to say to someone else, “What do you think of this?” or start looking up others’ reviews on Google.
This habit of seeking outside validation damages self-esteem. It gives someone else the power and authority over your own life.
Instead, start a new daily habit of trusting yourself and paying attention to your own gut instincts. Rather than looking for someone else’s agreement, try to get comfortable starting thoughts with, “I want,” and “I think.”
It’s not selfish; it’s self-confident. Trusting yourself feels absolutely exhilarating when you get used to it.
4- Smile more at yourself when you look in the mirror.
It’s all too easy to pass a mirror and think it isn’t a gorgeous woman looking back at you. What a harsh and unnecessary judgment. That woman is you, and she’s your best friend!
Each time you pass a mirror, give yourself a quick smile and think a positive thought. View your own reflection as a dear friend who needs a little burst of self-confidence, and pump her up with compliments.
Psychologists have found that people are compelled to look at themselves in mirrors, and that seeing your own reflection tends to spark an inner dialogue called self-talk. If our self-talk is mostly negative thoughts, we’re more likely to end up in a bad mood. If it’s positive, we perk up and view ourselves more positively.
5-Have a day in the raw.
Be careful to not condition yourself to the belief that you’re only attractive if you’re all made up. Occasionally, go a day without makeup. It’s a day in the raw.
This is a great way to remind yourself that makeup is not what makes you attractive. Sure, makeup is a fun way to enhance certain features, but it’s not required to feel confident and look good.
A make-up free day allows your skin to breathe, gives you some extra time away from the mirror, and reminds you of the value of your natural beauty. It’s kind of a reset button for your body and your body image.
6-Stop comparing yourself to other women.
It might seem harmless to compare yourself to other women, but it’s actually quite destructive to your mental health and sense of self-worth. Comparisons make us feel inferior to other people because a comparison naturally assumes one thing, or one person, is better than the other.
Here’s a psychological trick you can use to break the habit of comparing yourself to other women. Instead of comparison and competition, focus on curiosity and compassion.
So instead of thinking, “She’s so much prettier than me,” think, “I wonder if she’s having a good day. Maybe I could compliment her pretty hairstyle.” View her as an ally, because we all want to feel better about ourselves.
7-Learn how to Dress Your Truth.
Your Type of beauty is totally unique to you. It’s a combination of your personal energy, personality, shapes, colors, movement, and individual desires.
When you know your Type of beauty, everything else begins to click into place. You learn which kinds of patterns, hues, design lines, and fabrics look best on you, and you’ll feel much more confident about your appearance day after day.
Becoming Your Own Beauty Expert
Dressing Your Truth is a form of empowerment that aligns with personal self-love. When your clothing and accessories match your energy from head to toe, it feels so much easier to move through the world with boldness and self-assurance.
You’re invited to take the first step toward becoming your own beauty expert. Discover your Energy Profile and see how it feels to finally discover your individual Type of beauty.
It feels so wonderful to hold your head high and stop compromising your own natural radiance. Are you ready to become your personal beauty authority?
Let’s do it together. Thanks for joining us on this journey.
Enjoy these extra resources:
- Embracing Truth-Based Beauty: Part 1
- Shopping Tips for Every Type of Beauty
- Are Your Shopping Tendencies True to Your Type? How to Avoid Shopping Sabotage!
- Comparing Yourself to a Model? This Model Says Don’t