Do you struggle with negative thoughts about yourself? It’s important to be honest here. Most of us have many negative thoughts that we allow into our conscious, tearing down the way we look and making it hard not to fall into self-loathing. To change your relationship with yourself, you need to shift this energy. This blog will dive into body shaming and how you can stop the pattern of self-destruction that is dragging you down.
Why do You Shame Your Body?
Shaming your body includes thinking bad thoughts about how you look, how your clothes fit, how people perceive you and what you weigh. Rather than appreciating the strength or beauty of your body in its current state, you spend time wishing certain features were different.
But what causes that shaming?
There are two main reasons you shame your body with negative thought patterns.
Body Shaming is an Ingrained Habit
First of all, body shaming is entrenched in our cultural experience. You learn how to put yourself down as a child to lower expectations and avoid disappointment. Around the age of four, you will notice many young children start to notice the differences between themselves and others. Children at this age become very consumed with wondering why there are differences and wanting to be more like everyone around them.
As you hit the pre-teen and puberty years, things change and you feel less sure of your skin. Suddenly, your hormones are raging, your body is changing and there are many new things to deal with—like acne, weight gain and smelling glands. During this time, it’s easy to compare yourself to others to feel better about yourself (“At least I don’t have ____ like _____ does!”). However, tearing others down in your mind leads to further insecurity about your own flaws or differences. On the other hand, if you were more likely to be a victim, then others tearing you down started to become your internal mantra.
What we don’t realize through all of these young years is that everyone feels like an imposter! Sure, we have moments where we are “feeling ourselves,” but this isn’t most people’s normal mode of operation. Most people feel nervous, unsure of themselves and unsure about what role they play in the world. We think most of the people around us have it together. Dig a little deeper, and you’ll find many people have insecurities similar to you.
You Don’t Dress for Your Shape and Energy Type
As adults, we’ve lost ourselves and struggle to know where we fit. This plays out in how we choose to dress. You might think style seems very unrelated to mental health, but I’ve found it can really help tie everything together and it is why I started Dressing Your Truth.
I spend time helping women learn about their Energy Type and body shape. When you truly love yourself and your body, you will want to take care of it and show it off in the best light. What you can realize through my program is that we are all different and should dress in the way that best reflects our inner person.
In other words: something can be really cute and not work for you at ALL.
The wrong cut, movement, color or pattern can amplify the wrong characteristics and overshadow the things you should feature. For example, clothing can make you look drab, stuffy, fluffy, overweight, uncomfortable, stiff or overshadowed. At the same time, the right style can fully reflect your inner beauty and convey your personality to those around you.
If you haven’t already taken my Energy Type Quiz, do it now! Understanding this basic truth about yourself will really help you choose looks that just resonate deep within. This is going to make shopping and dressing an easier experience!
How to Learn to Love Your Body
It’s okay to want to change certain things. Maybe you want to lose weight or get in better cardio shape. Maybe you feel like you need a tummy tuck or want to tone your legs more. You can have goals and still love yourself.
Change Your Thinking Patterns
The problem is, we often ignore self-talk and jump right into the change we want to make—as if the change is going to fix how we feel about ourselves! This leads to failed resolutions, self-sabotage and sinking further into the negative spiral.
Try reversing your pattern instead of repeating it.
Start by changing your internal mantra about yourself. Remove the negative and replace it with positive thoughts. When you believe you can do something, you change the energy and increase the chances of success; rather than fight an uphill battle, you only have to complete the course you’ve so clearly laid out before yourself.
Only start pursuing your goals after you practice believing in yourself and seeing your self-worth for what it truly is. You will create the outcome you desire because you already know it is within your grasp. You are smart, you are strong, you are beautiful—and you can achieve your goals.
Clearing Session to Remove Negative Energy
To help you shift your thinking, I’m going to teach you a quick clearing session to reset the energy. This is how you start changing out the negative self-talk and replacing it with positivity.
- Tap on your K27 points.
- Focus on the shameful thoughts, “Every time I look in the mirror, I put my body down. I choose to stop doing that now. Every time I look in the mirror, I focus on what I don’t like about myself. I know better than that now.” Release the thoughts about how you don’t measure up to others or the negative feelings about specific features.
- Release all the shameful beliefs you’ve ever thought about yourself.
- Forgive yourself for falling into the same patterns as everyone else.
- Rub your heart center as you forgive yourself for the pain you caused with negative thoughts.
- Start tapping your K27s again and focus on the positive thoughts: “I am beautiful exactly how I am. Every part of me is perfect for me. I am grateful at how hard this body has worked for me.” Focus on why you love each part of your body, working from your toes to your face.
- Finally, repeat, “I am grateful for the gift of my body.”
- Now, soak in that energy with a deep breath. And then rub and tap everywhere to help it set in.
You may not feel honest about loving every part of you at first. Stating “I have glorious thighs” or “My face is beautiful” may feel uncomfortable and cheesy at first. However, when you practice the uplifting affirmations of self-love, you will train your brain to start seeing the value and pushing out the negative comments. If you start to slip into negativity, practice a quick clearing session and reset.
I hope you’ll join me in your journey! In my Healing Center, we uncover past hurts and thought pattern ruts blocking us from what we want. Try my Healing Center for FREE with your two-week trial to experience the freedom of crushing old habits and taking control of your life.