How Self-Judgement was Holding Her Back: Charity’s Before & After

Why your subdued style could be sending the wrong message.


Do people tell you that you need to “be more social… get out more… talk more”? You want to be social, but on your own terms.

Many women default to a muted and subdued style in an attempt to not be noticed. But what if you could be noticed in a way that was comfortable and respectful? Join me and my Type 4 Expert, Kalista, as we walk Charity through a makeover that takes her from hiding on the sidelines to woman of bold beauty. Watch as she comes into a personal style the gets her noticed for all the right reasons, standing confidently as her own authority.

Charity is a stunning Type 4 woman who found herself softening to what she thought she “should” be. But it never felt quite right. As she began to turn inward she experienced an emotional reaction that led her to realize she was misjudging her best qualities as flaws. What do you think of her stunning transformation? Watch as we show her how to set aside dull muted colors and step into a bold balanced style. Now she can draw attention that allows her to be social on her own terms, feeling more comfortable in her new clear expression.

In this Before & After we talk about (The makeover begins at 10:58):

  • (2:30) How Charity gave herself permission to be social enough.
  • (3:18) How you can tap into your strengths and get noticed for the right reason, and still be comfortable.
  • (14:15) How to use your Style Guide to create clarity and balance in your style.

Embrace the balanced and healthy expression of your own natural beauty with my free Beginner’s Guide.

Did this makeover inspire you? Share it with a bold and beautiful woman in your life!

We thought you might like these additional Before & After makeovers:

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Video Transcript

Carol: It’s my pleasure to introduce you to Charity. Hi, Charity.

Charity: Hi.

Carol: She’s a bold and striking type 4 woman. And I know you’re not feeling that right now, nor is your choice in your wardrobe supporting you. And I’m so grateful that you’re trusting us to support you in this transformation. So, thank you.

Charity: Thank you.

Carol: Now, as I understand, and you’ve shared with me briefly that your process in learning your type of beauty took you another direction originally. That you didn’t choose type 4 as your beauty profile, your dominant energy. Share with our viewers your experience, like what you were looking at and how that all played out for you.

Charity: Well, I originally started out thinking I was a type 2 or rather wanting to be a type 2. It was just kind of how I was dressing anyway.

Carol: Were you thinking I could be a 4, but I would rather be a type 2?

Charity: Not quite that clearly, but yes.

Carol: Okay. Now, in hindsight, you can see that. How did that finally clarify itself in your process of… Because you’re a type 4 and you’re going to go very deep with this and very thoughtful about it. You’ll think about it. In fact, it will kind of take over your life until you’ve figured it out. So, what showed up that you started to trust that you knew you were a type 4? What happened in your process?

Carol: Well, I read through the type 4 section again and…and I cried and I thought, “Why would I feel so emotional about this if it wasn’t me?” And I had my mom…

Carol: Good deduction, I have to tell you. No, really that was… Because this is more about your emotional response to it than your analytical and in your…you paid attention.

Charity: Yeah. But, it was pretty hard to deny that kind of emotional response. And so, then I had my mom read through the information and I said, “Does this sound like me?” And she said, ”Yes, but I don’t understand why you think it sounds negative. I’m not seeing the negative.” And I was like, “Oh, it’s not negative. Okay. I can be this.”

Carol: You’re being…really recognizing now these are your gifts, this is the beauty of you. And now that you’ve accepted it in a more positive light, how’s it supportive to you? You’ve shared with me that it’s been life-altering, and I’d love for you to share an example of that.

Charity: I never was good at trying to be really social, but I felt like I needed to and, you know, now I know it’s okay I don’t have to try to go in like really enthusiastically, meet every person in a room and…

Carol: And you may not even enjoy certain settings. Like you don’t even want to go. And that’s okay.

Charity: Exactly. And I let myself not go to things like that.

Carol: And I really love that you’re sharing that because it’s very common for type 4 women to see that as a character flaw. That somehow you need to develop this social connection and that you love parties and you want to go talk to everybody and you’re like, “I hate it.” ‘And it’s like, “Oh, really? I get to? Phew.” So, you feel that sense of relief, and that self-acceptance of who you are. Now, I find it interesting this particular outfit is very typical of your fashion choices. It’s very subdued. It’s not honoring the bold, reflective quality of your beauty, that stunning quality that comes forward. Why have you been drawn to the very muted, subdued colors? What’s your sense of that now that you know you’re a type 4 woman?

Charity: I think I was trying to counteract my boldness. Because I had perceived that as negative, I was trying to dress really…you know, in a very subtle way so I would come across soft to people…

Carol: More subtle.

Charity: …and kind of blend in. I didn’t want to be noticed.

Carol: Yeah. And that’s very common as well, that not wanting to be noticed. I don’t think it’s the bold quality. And again, I’ll reiterate this. It’s not about a characteristic and your communication or your style of expression, it’s about your stand in life. You have a bold stand with your values. You boldly and clearly define what you value in life. I think type 4 women are trying to avoid having to deal with certain scenarios out in the world. Like, really just don’t notice me, so I guess I don’t really want you to bother me. I don’t want you to come up and talk to me. And yet you’ll find when you’re dressing your truth, you’ll be noticed for the reasons you want to be noticed, which is you’re noticed as a woman that wants to be respected. You’re noticed as a woman who is her own authority. You’re noticed as a woman that clearly stands very with great clarity and exactness. And then people don’t just come up to you and chitchat. You know, you’re approached in a manner that is appropriate for who you are. So, I’m excited to introduce you to Calista. She’s made… It’s going to be a big swing in another direction. You will be noticed. You’ll be noticed for the reasons that you value. Are you looking forward to that?

Charity: Absolutely.

Carol: Good. Well, let’s meet Calista and see what she’s chosen for your new type 4 stunning look.

Charity: Okay.

[00:05:25] [music] [00:05:41]

Carol: Calista, you’ve done a fabulous job in your selection for Charity. I love it.

Kalista: Thank you.

Carol: Charity, what are your thoughts about this?

Charity: Well, it’s definitely different what I’m wearing. I mean, they look like great clothes.

Carol: It’s bolder than anything you’ve ever put on your body. Definitely when you come into the world of type 4 color, we’re wearing pure saturated hues. Very strong statement with those colors. Feel a little concerned about that or…?

Charity: I’m a little nervous. That looks really…I mean, it looks bold.

Carol: It will be amazing in your transformation in how we see you. And the color supports that. So, it’s pretty amazing. So, Calista, share with everyone what you’ve selected here.

Kalista: So, I am so excited about this top. The finish on this fabric is so icy and crisp. It has beautiful design lines. There’s the way the zippers are repeated there on each side, slim line down the front with the icy silver buttons, very reflective, very clean. The jeans are dark, saturated wash. They have the low contrast top stitching with the clean, slim lines.

Carol: I wanted to ask, have you ever worn a slim fit jean? Is that something you felt you could wear?

Charity: I started wearing them a while ago because I was tired of tripping on long pants.

Carol: Okay. So, that’s a great, very refined, polished line on a type 4. Any shape of body, you’re going to find…we’re gonna welcome you into the world of a more tailored jean, really beautiful movement on you.

Kalista: Yeah. It’s going to look lovely. These boots, they’re short boots, which look really nice with the slim pants. It is a dark, saturated black suede with beautiful, clean lines and nice, clean heel there.

Carol: I like the black heel connecting. That’s a pure saturated color all the way from the shoe.

Kalista: How do you feel about the low boots?

Charity: I have never worn anything like them. I’m a little worried about the comfort, but they look really great.

Kalista: Cool. Great. So, for the accessories, we have a rhinestone earring. It’s a perfect oval with the rows of chain and rhinestones coming down the side.

Charity: I love those.

Kalista: How do you feel? Do you like those?

Charity: Mm-hmm.

Kalista: Good.

Carol: You’re noticing a lot of parallel lines in all of the design lines of everything you’ve chosen. I love that.

Calista: And to finish it off, to create that polished look, we have a simple silver bracelet with a bold infinity design. It’s got something you think you’ll feel comfortable wearing?

Carol: So, I’ve noticed, Calista, you did not choose a necklace for this ensemble.

Kalista: No. And the reason is we have these beautiful high reflective zippers here and the buttons. And that creates the look and feel of a necklace without having the necklace. So, to add a necklace would almost be too much.

Carol: Have you noticed Charity that you prefer less movement in your outfit?

Charity: I have.

Carol: Is that something that now makes sense?

Charity: Yes, it does.

Carol: That’s right. Because movement can be uncomfortable.

Charity: Yes.

Carol: Well, with your hair, I’ve noticed that you have some fabulous natural movement to it, some curl. Have you been willing to wear the curl or have you been straightening it?

Charity: Off and on. I cycle. I do it curly, and then I do it straight.

Carol: And you have both options. But we’re gonna play with your hair to see which…we’re not quite sure which direction we’re going to go with your hair, whether we’re going to go straight, whether we’re going to go curly. So, that’ll be a fun thing for you to look forward to in your reveal. And then, with makeup, have you been using much makeup in your day-to-day choices?

Charity: Not at all.

Carol: Okay. Again, keeping it simple?

Charity: Yes.

Carol: And we’re moving into a much bolder quality of makeup. The colors are quite bold, they’re type 4 hues. And let’s look at the style guide. With the outfit, you can see how well it harmonizes. And again, the five elements on the back, they’re all incorporated in the selections Calista has put together here.

Kalista: So, yeah, the overall look we’re creating for her is a sophisticated, polished yet casual look. Still maintaining these beautiful hues and you can see everything harmonizes with our style guide. It’s all in harmony with the keywords we have on the back, going to create a beautiful, stunning look. So, we’re excited for you.

Carol: There’s a tendency to think that you’re at a higher level of dress in the type 4 world because it’s a very clean, balanced, stylized movement. So, rather than level of dress, think of it as refined, polished, clean, simple. All your keywords that you have on the back here, that bold, that striking structure. So, you’re always going to look clean, polished, structured. You could be running around in your exercise wear, but if it’s type 4 exercise wear, you’re always going to look that. So, level of dress is not what we’re creating, it’s movement in the level of dress. And we can see as we hold the style guide, there’s actually no relationship going on here. It’s like sitting on top of you. So, this will be very exciting for all of us and all of our viewers. It’s like, ”Oh, I can’t wait to see”. And we can’t wait for you to see how incredibly beautiful you are. You are a beautiful woman. And to see yourself in that quality and type of beauty that you express, thank you for letting us support you in that process and to support all of you as well. And thank you, Calista. I love what you’ve selected for her.

[00:11:00] [music] [00:11:20]

Carol: I am really looking forward to Charity’s reveal.

Kalista: Oh, she looks amazing. You’re gonna love it.

Carol: You’re really pleased with it?

Kalista; Oh, it turned out so, so well.

Carol: Let’s take a look at her before picture. And let’s bring Charity out.

Kalista: All right, Charity, come on out.

Carol: Wow. Come in forward, please. You just look stunning. Now we see the stunning. Oh my goodness. I mean, I am just… You look glamorous.

Charity: Thank you.

Carol: How do you feel about looking glamorous?

Charity: I feel great. Glamorous is good.

Carol: So, tell us what… Now you’d been really in such subdued colors. You’re wearing this bold color, but we’re looking at you, your beautiful face, how do you feel in this?

Charity: It felt great. It doesn’t feel overwhelming to me at all. It feels good.

Carol: Correct? It’s correct?

Charity: Yes. Correct is perfect.

Carol: So, your hair, you’ve put it very dark, saturated, kind of went to the next level of her color.

Kalista: Yeah. The next level just to create that stillness. Then that clean line with the colors. Cleaned up the layers, made them a little more still and created that perfected curl. So, every hair is in its place. We still have the movement of the curl, but it’s a very, very set curl now.

Carol: I love the length too because it creates that nice clean line just above the shoulder. And it’s gone a little more dramatic with her makeup with the eye.

Kalista: Yes, a beautiful frosty, light on the eyes, and I’ve gone with the orange, kind of the more of a neutral look on her lips. And her skin, she just has the most porcelain, beautiful, flawless porcelain skin. [inaudible 00:12:54] just perfect.

Charity: Thank you.

Carol: You didn’t think you did. Did you?

Charity: Not really.

Kalista: You do. It’s lovely.

Carol: Any favorites for you that you’re wearing? What are you particularly loving?

Charity: I love all of it.

Carol: So, the whole look?

Charity: Yeah. It’s great. I really like the boots. They’re surprisingly comfortable to walk in. I didn’t really expect that. The kind of thicker heel makes them…I don’t feel wobbly. And I really love the bracelet and the zipper detail on the shirt is great.

Carol: That quality of uniqueness, that my experience with type 4 women is something that creates sort of a unique part of your style, like the zippers on the pockets, that’s unique. It’s not just a pocket. It has this really stunning, high shine silver zipper. I like the sleek line with the very saturated jean that’s connecting with the boot. Because the proper type 4 jean almost reads black. It has that sort of just a step up from black up where it’s that very saturated navy. And you can see how well that connects with the boot, connecting with your hair, you know, creating that balance, that symmetry. And the bold lip does not look bold or overstated. Do you notice that?

Charity: Yeah.

Carol: And your green eyes really come forward now.

Charity: Thanks.

Carol: I’m going to get the style guide so I wanna reference that to your outfit. You can see that as you hold that, there’s a connection there. We’ve got that harmony that we’re looking for. I’d like to offer you a 30-day challenge and you’re your own authority. So, I’m just offering this opportunity. And the purpose of this challenge is to give you enough time to really feel the difference to sense what it is to dress your truth. And so it’s called the 30-day challenge. And in those 30 days, we’re inviting you to only dress true to your type 4 elements. Your five elements, everything, the clothing, accessorizing, your makeup, your hair for 30 days to make that commitment. Because in that time period, you will have a distinct difference. You’ll be able to really notice the difference, especially from what you have been wearing to what it is to dress your truth. Is that something you feel like you would want to do?

Charity: Yeah. Challenge accepted.

Carol: All right. Let me give you the style guide then. Any closing words, Calista, in support of her process now?

Kalista: Just trust that you look amazing, and this is how you will look and feel throughout that entire period of that 30-day challenge. Just by really immersing yourself in that, you give yourself the opportunity to feel it at a deep level.

Charity: It sounds great. Thank you.

Kalista: Go for it.

Carol: Yeah. We want you to be the expression of your type 4 beauty. Who is Charity? Who are you? What is your interpretation of your style using these five elements? Because Calista has her own style, all of the women watching, you’re creating your own style. The five elements are a foundation and we should support you then in creating what’s unique for you as you implement all of these qualities of movement in your look. You’re going to be incredibly successful with it. I can tell your confidence just comes forward. We can see the real quality of who you are as a woman is expressing so clearly now. Well, thank you for letting us support you.

Charity: Thank you.

Carol: And thank you, Calista. You’ve done an amazing job as always.

Kalista: Well, thank you very much.

Carol: And thank you to all of you. We know you’ll be incredibly successful in your dressing your truth experience.

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